concept: instead of 4 more Fantastic Beasts movies, Comedy Central takes over and produces 50 episodes of Drunk History: Wizarding World Edition
historian, holding his 5th glass of firewhiskey: I’m here to talk to you about…. about Claudius Cleansweep, the goddamn founder of modern Quidditch.
[cut to Gilderoy Lockhart in period attire]
a group of 7th year Hogwarts girls huddled around a dozen empty bottles of butterbeer: Nononono no fuck Dumbler…dumberder. Door. I wanna talk about the fucking baddest bitch in Hogsnose. Fuckin’ Minerva fucking McGonnagal *sees a cat* oh fuck is that her?
if that sewer clown makes himself an image of your worst fear before he eats you, i could kick his ass. what’s he gonna do turn into the physical manifestation of being abandoned by your closest friends? gonna turn into an ooky spooky visual representation of catastrophic failure and loss? jokes on you dumbass the only thing im afraid of is myself
Time to kick my own ass. Bitch had it coming for too long
